I have been having a lot of feels about Faith. And not positive ones which saddens me because I love Faith. I was on its boat from day one. All they had to tell me was Lee Minho and Mane of Glory and I was there with bells. (I have a weakness for Manes of Glory....and ass kicking) And I was surprised by how much I loved EVERYONE in the show. Even the villains who I am supposed to hate.
But I am pissed now.
What I loved about Eunsoo, was that she was imperfect. She wasnt this paragon of virtue. She swore, she got angry, she coveted pretty things, she was real. I liked her brand of courage, and that under all the shallowness there was someone who really cared. Who would hold a impromptu makeover session with the Queen, and would create ways for herself to survive in this world that she had found herself.
I got mad at ES for saying she wont live with out him , it reminds me to much of the girl/guy who threaten to kill themselves just because their significant others may leave them. Its a power play and I dont like it. I want to believe ES is strong enough to surivive without him, because the reality is he is warrior. One of these days he sint going to be faster than the other guy and he will die. So will ES just stop being when that happens? I am supposed to believe that this woman who fought to try and make her own place in Goryeo time is suddenly completely different because she now loves some hot guy?
ES, my darling, you survived loosing you whole world. Your entire family. You are made of stronger stuff. I know she just wants to be with him but what do you think that is going to do to CY who only role in life is to be the protector. Spcially since he feels like he has failed in two big cases, Once with his fiance and Mentor and again with the Young King. How do you think it will effect him that he could have prevented the death of someone he loves deeply ? Do you really think he will survive that? During that entire speech I kept wanting to shout at ES THATS GREAT THAT THATS HOW IT WILL EFFECT YOU BUT WHAT ABOUT HIM! WHy are you playing on his every fear. CY lives every day knowing he could die. Knowing he can die. And that it isnt hard. Look at how many lives he has taken in this course of this show. What does it do to his peace of mind knowing that the women he would die/kill over will give up if something happens to him or she is taken away?
CY is a incredibly anxious character. Its going to hurt him deeply that she is lying to him. It is going to prey on every insecurity that he has. And that is messed up.
Another thing that bothered me was Jang Bin's death and how it was dealt with outside of how they killed him. I wanted to smack ES and tell her to respect Jang Bin's choices. And honestly, Jang Bin while a healer was also a fighter....He made the choice to protect the antidote over his people. Respect his damn sacrifice. To paraphrase Barrons from the Fever Series "Something is sacred until you act like it isnt anymore, than you lose it forever"
Jang Bin's death will mean something as long as you act like it does, but as soon as you act like its all about you. It means nothing. And that mes me angry and it turned into being all about ES, because made the death null and just another point of angst for ES.
I was more invested when I thought CY and ES would be adults about this romance, where they could be able to love each other and walk away and have it mean something. Instead of OMFG I CANT LIVE WITHOUT AND I WILL DIE AND LIFE I WILL SUCK AND ONLY THIS TAYLOR SWIFT SONG EXPLAINS MY REAL FEELS!
And all of this hurts me because I so want to love this show. And I want to be happy with the ship is headed but I cant. I want my Imperfect Heroine and Broken Hero to make each other better people no matter what. Even if their paths go in opposite directions. And to be able to live on knowing that someone once loved them more than they loved themselves so now they can move on and face whatever their coming battles are. (Whether it be opening their own practice or protecting the king)
Also I am a little bothered that basically that their love in worth more than the lives of countless people who arent time traveler's whose lives are going to either written out or changed drastically for their love.
There is also the possibility I am just cranky too.